Drum roll....

So after getting all excited to share my career dream with you, I kinda copped out by just printing it on one line of the last post. It was the one that said "this had been my big dream lately" on the line.

I got myself all hyped up to do organizational behavior consulting. I have a list of 20 classes that I want to take at UVU, just for fun. Then I found out it would cost over $600 a class. I was disappointed, but undaunted, so I was a trying to figure out how to get that money so I could take a class next semester. Then I talked to Wendell about it, who said, "Who would hire you?" and I got really deflated.

Then I talked to my mom and said, "If I want to take a class would you be disappointed with me?" She said kinda. Then she came around to saying that she didn't care as long as she didn't have to babysit. (I was hoping she'd be willing to babysit for 1-2 hours a week when Wendell wasn't there.)

So, I just lost all hope. I know, anti-climatic, huh?

Indecision

As I child I was indecisive at times. I remember one lunch when I was four or five where my mom asked me if I wanted my left over spaghetti with sauce on it or plain. I couldn't decide. I wanted sauce, then plain, then sauce, the plain. Whatever she did I was sure to want the other as soon as my lunch was given to me. I got my spaghetti with sauce that day and choked in down with disappointment and tears.

For years I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I loved animals. I started a pet care business when I was ten and shut it down when I was 16 only because I was too busy--I still had plenty of clients.

At 15, when my dog died, (the dog I had had since I was 4) I new that I could never be a vet. Putting animals to sleep is a part of a vets job and I knew that I couldn't get used to that.

I decided to be a doctor. I wanted to be and OB and deliver babies. Later I figured I'd be a pediatrician so I could spend more time with the babies, although the lure of helping pregnant women sounded enticing.

At the end of high school I took one of those career tests. When I got mine, the most notable thing was that I had a big fat zero in adventure, but I scored very high on leadership marks, so the test recommended I seek a career in the military. My friends and I hooted over that one.

In college I started out as Zoology Pre-med, but after sleeping through my science classes my first semester, I figured I'd lost all hope of becoming a doctor. (For the record, I went back and retook one of those classes to get a much better grade.)

I remember feeling adrift and not wanting to be one of "those" people who are perennial students who never pick a major. I had thoroughly enjoyed my newspaper class so I went into communications. I eventually picked "Broadcast Sales" as my emphasis because, 1) it would be super easy and 2) I enjoy selling.

As soon as I graduated, I regretted my choice. I remember trying to convince Wendell to let me go back to school and get a teaching certificate. He said it was his turn to go to school and I needed to work.

I continue to have an odd assortment of aspirations. Here are the jobs I'd love to have.

personal finance coach
motivational speaker
principal
part-time kindergarten teacher
school librarian
sales associate in a women's clothing store (so I could get lots of new clothes with the employee discount)
organizational behavior consultant (this has been my biggest dream recently)
advertising consultant (I'd just look at ads and tell if they were too stupid to be put on the air)
writer for magazines
parenting expert
and of course, stay-at-home mom my current occupation

A Postponed Promise and My New Favorite Blogger

I promised that I would tell you about my big dream, and I will. But I told it to Wendell first (bad mistake) who shot it down, told me I was nuts and that he loved me, but I was wasting my time trying to go after it and couldn't I be just like other SAHM's and go into teaching. So I'm feeling all fragile and nervous.

The author of I Can Do Anything If I Only I Knew What It Was, Barbara Sher, says--this is paraphrased loosely--if you go up to a complete stranger and say something really crazy like, "My dream is to raise dalmatians in the Himalayas. But I don't know anything about dogs and I have no connections in the Himalayas." The stranger would probably say, "Wow! What a cool dream...you know I know some one who raises dogs," or "I have a relative in Tibet." The long and the short is--they would support you unconditionally. Now tell a family member your dream and they're likely to tell you that you're nuts. Suffice it to say that I may as well have told Wendell that I'm raising dalmatians in the Himalayas.

So I already lied about "tomorrow" so how about I post about something else altogether.

My little sister Andrea (aka Wookie Princess) has started blogging.
I am so stoked. She is one of THE best writers on the face of the planet, although I'm probably a little biased. Just to show you how cool she is, here is a sampling from her last post.

"We all live so meanly.... aching for abundance that can't be purchased on Overstock or sold for half-price on e-bay. And so we write, waiting to be read. In the words of CS Lewis, we read to know we are not alone... And so a generation searches for each other across the endless space of consumerism and reads and blogs to know that we are, in fact, not alone."

Cool, huh? (I don't mind that when you compare our writing I look like a drooling idiot.)

Sophisticated

While Emma was home from church today with a fever we had this conversation.

E: Playing with Annika is hard. She's so much littler than I am. I mean, when she wants me to play something with her I just think it's stupid. And when I want her to play with me...well, my games are just much too sophisticated for her.

Only Two

"Why are you so cute?" my dad asked Annika today.

"I don't know. I'm only two!" she answered.

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Annika: Read, the book. Read the book. Read the book. Mama, read the book. Read the book. Mama! Mama, read the book. (Sigh.) READ THE BOOK, FOR HEAVEN SAKES!

PS I read the book.

Dream Big

Every now and then you hear about somebody doing something crazy, like the woman who parachuted out of an airplane on her 80th birthday. Crazy... maybe. But fun, too and something that fulfills a dream.

I remember hearing about a family that took a year off from work and school to travel the world. Most of us probably shake our heads and say, "Where do you get the financial resources for a trip like that? I can't imagine taking more than a week off from work and we'd NEVER miss school!"

But what does your heart say? Do you ever hear of a news making, dream fulfilling story that makes your heart long for a dream of it's own? Is your dream so crazy big that you could never pull it off?

I've heard my mom say she'd love to write a book or become a real estate agent or both. "Go for it!" we say. I've even sent her emails about writers conferences that make her almost giggle. "But I can't," she usually says. Whether the excuse is that it conflicts with Dad's work or that my sister and I might need her to babysit, there's a reason she can't go "do" her dream.

I've been spending a lot of time trying to think about my dream. Like my mom, I have more than one. But the one that meets the most resistance, requires the most effort and would be the hardest to schedule; that's the one my heart really longs for.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you what that dream is and why I can't do it. But for now, what's your dream? If you could do anything what would it be?

Stand and Impede

Beck stood up yesterday. He only started sitting up by himself a day or two after his 8-month-mark, yet before he's even 8.5 months, he pulled himself to standing. Yikes! He's really on the move.

Beck's standing up also scared me to death. I heard him crying in his bedroom. He went from quietly crying to hysterical in no time, so when I rushed in I found him standing in his crib and dangerously too tall. I scooped him up and before he went to bed, I lowered to crib.

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Last night as I tried to get the kids to do some math, chores and help me with Beck while I prepared dinner, I was barking orders one after another. Emma (9) was struggling to put a Cheerio in Beck's mouth, get a pencil and pick up something else I needed, all while holding her math workbook.

"Mom!" she said with clear exasperation, "How do you expect me to follow ALL your instructions? As soon as I start to do one thing, you give me another instruction that impedes my progress!"

When she looked up at me, I was grinning.

"What?" she asked.

"I love that you just used the word 'impede'," I replied.

"Well, you always use it, so I know what it means and I used it correctly."

"Yes you did."

Favorite

Nathan appeared from playing downstairs. "What ya doin'?" he asked.

"Making dinner."

"Mmmm. Dinner is my favorite subject of the day."

Puppy

"I'm soaky," Annika announced at bedtime.

"Soaky-poky," I rhymed. "Do you need a diaper change?"

"Yea," Annika replied, "I'm a soaky, poky puppy!"